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JohnCon III - Saturday, August 31, 2002
Home Page - Gaming - Car Wars - JohnCon III (2002)

I ran an Amateur Night scenario for these folks. Here were the rules:

  • Everyone gets a Combat Cooper (stats below).
  • Each driver has a buddy as a passenger.
  • If a car is killed, the crew can get out and grab another car if they can make to a gate alive.
  • Once a crew reaches a gate, they re-enter the arena in a fresh car at the start of the next turn.
  • Whoever kills the infamous serial killer John wins.
  • The Audience will open fire on anyone that drives in a cowardly or boring fashion.

The Arena

Car Wars veterans may notice that the arena is pretty small. For Hot Wheels scale, I am using 3:1 scale relative to normal Car Wars, that correlates to an approximately 8' x 10' arena. I have more like 3' x 7'. That is not such a big problem, since I want a lot of action instead of people tooling around at great distances and being careful. I used a big roll of Foamular insulating foam for the wall, gray felt for the base, and blue felt for the river (it is supposed to be an arena positioned over the River Walk in San Antonio, TX). The entry chutes are large binder clips which were tacked down to the felt with carpet tape (a very strong double-sided tape); these clips also held the walls up and provided the bulk of the structural stability. I built an overpass out of expanded bead polystyrene foam; the details are here.

The Crew and Their Equipment (differences noted in yellow)

  • Driver gear: Explosive Grenade, Smoke Grenade, Fire Extinguisher, Bowie Knife, Heavy Pistol, Battle Vest, and Body Armor.
  • Buddy gear: Explosive Grenade, 2 Smoke Grenades, LAW Rocket, Bowie Knife, Heavy Pistol, Battle Vest, and Body Armor.
  • Reflexes: Both have Reflexes giving them a Handling Class of 3.

The Colors and The Drivers

  • White - Andrea Terrill
  • Black - Mason Hart
  • Red - Reema
  • Orange - Steve Patlan
  • Yellow - Drew Craft
  • Green - Matt Cohen
  • Blue - Andy Solberg
  • Purple - Angelo Benedetto

The Blurb

San Antonio Slaughter 2052: John Must Die! 4-8 Players
Time slots: Sat 2000 Beginner

Description - SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! The Riverwalk Autodueling arena is exploding BOOM! with action! Pagoda Motors is sponsoring a night of autoduelling action like San Antonio has never seen! BUDDA-BUDDA-BUDDA! Come see the American Autoduelling Assocation’s best do their worst! The first 500 ticket holders will receive a FREE! FREE! FREE! Pagoda Motors kevlar windbreaker, perfect for a night out on the town.

Move over, Robosaurus, ‘cause the mayhem is just beginning! Amateur Night! Division Competitions! Anything goes! Bring your junker out to the stadium and trade it for a shiny new Pagoda Motors Combat Cooper and try your hand at autoduelling. Maybe you’ll be the next Bulletslingin’ Bushi BUDDA-BUDDA-BUDDA! or Mad Dog Madigan VROOM! VUH-VUH-VROOM! YEE-HAH!

To spice things up this year, we're adding a wrinkle, there will be escape pods scattered around the arena. One contains this year's most televised serial killer, John! Whoever gets John and drops him in the Fires of Justice first wins.

The 2052 Combat Cooper comes standard with puncture resistant tires, all around ablative armor, twin-linked machineguns, and a rear smoke dispenser. Only Pagoda Motors offers style, protection, and affordability in the same car. Pagoda Motors, redefining the rules.

Tickets can be purchased from your local Uncle Albert’s Autoduelling Accessories™ outlet.


Pagoda Motors cannot be held liable for injuries or damages sustained while participating in or watching these events.

GM - Michael Casavant

Clockwise from the tie dye: Andrew (tie dye), Matt, Drew, Reema (moving car), Angelo, Steve, Mason, Andrea, Me (trying to look post-apocalyptic for atmosphere).

The carnage ensues! Angelo (purple, top left) has jsut blown up the safety capsule holding the nefarous serial-killing child known only as John. Now Angelo needs to get the capsule to the Fires of Justice (suspended under the large hole in the middle of the overpass. It's going to be tough since Drew (yellow, left) has scattered mines all over the middle strip of the overpass.

Andy, hungry for carnage decides to try and ram Reema into the water, but he has just been ground to a halt by a previous collision, so he can't get up to speed enough to stop her. Reema screeches on up the ramp, detonating the mines and sending shrapnel into her tires and Andy's.

A wide shot of the end game. Angelo has crossed multiple mines and deep treacherous potholes, suffered incredible amounts of weapons fire from all of his opponents and is ducking bullets from his now unarmored right side. His driver is bleeding all over the steering wheel, but his car slams to halt at the edge of the Fires of Justice, the magnetic clamps release, and John is delivered to his fate. The crowd goes wild!

A close-up of the end game. Here you can see the mines Angelo managed to dodge and the river of flaming oil he laid down.

The assembled combatants, looking scary. From left - Andrea, Angelo, Matt, Reema, Andy, Steve, Drew, Mason.


Angelo is the winner! Angelo took home the Golden Cooper trophy and the awe and esteem of the free world.

The winner, Angelo, with his trophy - The Golden Cooper!

Ooh, aren't you kicking yourself for not playing now? Hand finished by a barely capable craftsman (me) and lovingly coated in a beautiful faux gold finish (even the barrels!). Truly priceless*!

* - OK, maybe $1 for the car, $1 for the paint, $10 for the brush, $10 for staining supplies, countless dead brain cells from the fumes...uhh, priceless!