I ran an Amateur Night
scenario for these folks. Here were the rules:
- Everyone gets a
Combat Cooper (stats below).
- Each driver has
a buddy as a passenger.
- If a car is killed,
the crew can get out and grab another car if they can make to
an escape chute alive.
- Once a crew reaches
an escape chute, they re-enter the arena at the start of the
- Most kills wins.
- Dead people can't
- The Audience will
open fire on anyone that drives in a cowardly or boring fashion.
Basically, it was a
Compact with Light suspension, a Medium Powerplant, Puncture Resistant
Radial Tires, 2 Machine-guns to the front, 1 smokescreen to the
rear, and links for all of the weapons allowing them to be fired
in any combination. Armor: F12, L/R9, U2, T2, B10.
Car Wars veterans may
notice that the arena is pretty small. For Hot Wheels scale, I
am using 3:1 scale relative to normal Car Wars, that correlates
to an approximately 8' x 10' arena. I have more like 3' x 7'.
That is not such a big problem, since I want a lot of action instead
of people tooling around at great distances and being careful.
I used a big roll of Foamular insulating foam for the wall, gray
felt for the base, and blue felt for the river (it is supposed
to be an arena positioned over the River Walk in San Antonio,
TX). The escape hatches are film cases with some lead shot in
them to weigh them down so that they don't topple too easily.
The entry chutes are large binder clips which were tacked down
to the felt with carpet tape (a very strong double-sided tape);
these clips also held the walls up and provided the bulk of the
The Crew and Their
Equipment (differences noted in yellow)
- Driver gear:
Explosive Grenade, Smoke Grenade, Fire
Extinguisher, Bowie Knife, Heavy Pistol, Battle Vest,
and Body Armor.
- Buddy gear:
Explosive Grenade, 2 Smoke Grenades, LAW
Rocket, Bowie Knife, Heavy Pistol, Battle Vest, and Body
Both have Reflexes giving them a Handling Class of 2.
The Colors and The
- White - Andy Solberg
(color blind people get priority choice :-) )
- Black - Jason Modisette,
because he's scary and grim like that
- Red - Angelo Benedetto,
because red goes faster
- Orange - Chuck Kuffner,
because he likes orange?
- Yellow - Jeff Cours,
because that's the color all insane people like
- Green - Barb Smith,
because she's minty fresh?
- Blue - Reema,
because she likes blue
- Purple - Greg Morrow,
because he's regal
Pagoda Motors has generously
donated a small fleet of their new prototype for an economical
combat taxi, the Combat Cooper. The arena has opted to use them
for an Amateur Night scenario. All of the vehicle crews absolutely
hate each other, so no teaming up. The radios only work if you
talk trash (badmouth the other crews), and then everyone hears
it, so no coordinating attacks or setting up non-aggression treaties.
It's a game about people in a dark future killing each other for
amusement, let's keep it that way. Cowardly and/or boring driving
will be rewarded by the audience opening up with weapons on the
offending driver. The greater the offense, the greater the firepower
response. The point? Don't think, don't plan, and don't manipulate;
just get in there and fight!
|From left to right:
Jeff, Reema (sitting), Andy (yawning), Jason , Greg (pondering),
Barb (sitting), Chuck (sitting).
Here we see
Andy seeking dark blessings in his battles, or is he just
living out his childhood fantasies of being a member of
a rock band? :-P
From left to
right: A fragment of Jeff's leg, Reema (sitting), Andy,
Jason, Greg (sitting), Barb (sitting), Chuck (sitting).
has written checks her reflexes can't cash and her car (Blue,
near left, upside down) rolled after some fire from Jeff's
car. The judges rule a kill for Jeff (yellow, near, leftmost).
First blood! Her crew rolls out and makes a dash for the
escape hatches as Andy's car (white, middle left) heads
straight towards them, both barrels bared...
Jason (far left)
continues to accelerate, desperate for a target as Andy
drops smoke clouds to block line of sight. Chuck crosses
the bridge towards Jeff with Angelo in hot pursuit (near
right). Meanwhile, Barb and Greg jockey for position (far
right) over one another, lacking any other viable targets..
|Andy decides to
not have his vehicle gun down the poor helpless crew of Reema's
overturned car (if anyone armed with a LAW rocket can be considered
truly helpless). Rather, he moves forward, hoping that with
so many vehicles, he can get at least one kill.
kills Jeff (yellow), depriving Angelo (red, on bridge, behind
the smoke) and Andy (white, facing camera) of a golden opportunity.
You can barely see the back of Jeff's car slamming into Reema's
overturned car (blue) as it comes to a halt just beyond Chuck's
(orange) car and some smoke. Angelo curse the lost opportunity
for a kill.
finally gets bloodied as he opens up into the side of Chuck
(orange), destroying the powerplant and frustrating Angelo's
(red) aspirations of scoring a kill off Chuck. As Chuck
coasts to a stop, Angelo turns into Jason and guns it, ramming
him head on! The crash kills Jason's car and crew as well
as Angelo's car. However, Angelo's driver still has a pulse
and the ambulance roars out of the chute....
One kill goes
to Angelo and two go to Jason, albeit now posthumously.
|Reema has re-entered
the fray and crosses the far bridge to join the sporadic fight
between Greg and Barb. Andy manages to avoid driving into
the river, but he is suddenly without any targets.
|The crew of the
ambulance (the glue bottle) revive Angelo's driver and he
staggers to the escape hatch, standing by sheer willpower
and a desire for victory.
returns, Barb (green) skids into the river as Reema scores
a kill on her. Reema (out of the picture) moves in to attack
Greg (purple), along with Jeff's shiny new replacement car.
Will Jeff or Reema get the kill? It's...Reema!
whacks her own buddy with a bad grenade bounce as she tries
to slow down Jeff (yellow).
and Andy (white) desperately try to score a kill in the final
squeezes out one last kill, taking out Reema's vehicle (green).
- Jason 2 (crew deceased)
- Reema 2
- Jeff 2
- Chuck 1
- Angelo 1
- Greg 0
- Barb 0
- Andy 0
That leaves three people
with 2 kills each. Jason's crew had been reduced to a thin paste
on his engine block, so he loses the tie by default. So Reema's
driver and Jeff's driver are thrown into a pit and given knives
to settle the draw. They duck and weave, each still a little dazed
by the sudden events. Both strike and miss. They circle again,
they strike, and Reema's driver grimaces in pain, falling to the
Jeff is the winner!
Jeff took home the Golden Cooper trophy and the awe and esteem
of the free world.
Trophy - The Golden Cooper!
Ooh, aren't you kicking
yourself for not playing now? Hand finished by a barely capable
craftsman (me) and lovingly coated in a beautiful faux gold finish
(even the barrels!). Truly priceless*!
* - OK, maybe $1 for
the car, $1 for the paint, $10 for the brush, $10 for staining
supplies, countless dead brain cells from the fumes...uhh, priceless!